Very Unique!

     For W.F. and J.G.

Bill guffawed! “You can’t say ‘very unique’!
Jeez! Unique’s unique—no ‘verys’ allowed!”
I smiled. “Fascist teachers (who made eunuchs
Of us all) live on in you—why kowtow

To fifty year old sterile axioms?
One might argue that ‘more’ or ‘less unique’
Won’t do. But it’s time to free our scrotums
From those cold dread hands, throw off the antique

Rules they pressed on us. Missus Sardmeyer
(Ninth grade, remember?) is long gone, bone dead.
And some ‘uniques’ so startle, shriek and cry
For celebration—stun phlegmatic heads—

Like Bush dead! Would you begrudge a ‘very’
To this ‘unique’ tickling us to merry?”
                                  (5/13/08)

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