“Vatican toughens rules on sainthood,” Headline, Los Angeles Times (2/19/08)
Some headlines grab you by the throat,
Some by more primal parts.
But this one knocked me for a loop—
(Brash theocratic arts).
The last pope’s liberality
Created quite a stir.
He canonized five hundred saints—
(The most to date—by far!).
But worse than that, he bent the rules—
Cut short review time spent.
Beatified a host of folks
(Most, just in time for Lent).
Mother Teresa, all in all,
Was J. C.’s humble student;
But Pius Twelfth’s grim Concordat
(Dismissed as merely prudent!)
Creates some questions for this church.
The Fathers must take pause,
And delve more deeply, search the lives
Of new intercessors.
Sainthood is rare, and should be so.
So let’s slow down a bit.
Or risk a Heaven SRO,
With no place left to sit.
And that might sour older saints,
Turn situations odd—
I wouldn’t want disgruntled help
Petitioning my god!
(2/20/08)