Telemarketing

“Hello”—a four second pause—evidence
Enough to slam the damned phone down!
“May I speak with Marvin Klotz?” Temperance
Prevails—“Speaking,” say I. “This is Kris Clown

Calling from—(fill in the blank)—How are you
Today?” And why should I permit this strange
Voice to question me? He/she has no clue
How irritation morphs into deranged!

My silence greets that “how are you today?”
Hello?—Hello?—a shift in tone: HELLO?
That’s when I gently put the phone away
Despite the poor zshlub’s plaintive, wan bellow.

That disembodied desp’rate voice, no doubt,
Earns meager pay, contends all day with louts
Like me—we both would like to shout about
Malignant marketing that burns us out.
                                       (5/23/08)

Posted in Affluence

Very Unique!

     For W.F. and J.G.

Bill guffawed! “You can’t say ‘very unique’!
Jeez! Unique’s unique—no ‘verys’ allowed!”
I smiled. “Fascist teachers (who made eunuchs
Of us all) live on in you—why kowtow

To fifty year old sterile axioms?
One might argue that ‘more’ or ‘less unique’
Won’t do. But it’s time to free our scrotums
From those cold dread hands, throw off the antique

Rules they pressed on us. Missus Sardmeyer
(Ninth grade, remember?) is long gone, bone dead.
And some ‘uniques’ so startle, shriek and cry
For celebration—stun phlegmatic heads—

Like Bush dead! Would you begrudge a ‘very’
To this ‘unique’ tickling us to merry?”
                                  (5/13/08)

Posted in Poetry (What is it?), Politics, Words

Apples and Oranges

You can’t compare apples to oranges—
So goes the old cliché. But, say I, why
Not? They’re both fruit. If determined to lunge,
Pursue truth, find images that untie,

Or sever the hard knots that strangle brains,
Disdain such clichéd rot—dank pooled hogwash
That drowns all wit, provides not light, but pain.
Compare a Fuji to a Macintosh?

Sure, when that makes sense; but apples, citrus,
And soccer balls, suggest earth’s pocked skin, core,
Shape, texture, heart. Truth’s not served by litmus
Tests, nor begrudging aptest metaphors.

True, false analogy breeds foul abuse;
Yet, both fruits drip with rich, insightful juice.
                                           (5/12/08)

Posted in Poetry (What is it?)

Poetry? What’s It Good For?

     That time of year thou may’st in me behold
     When yellow leaves, or none, or few, do hang
     Upon those boughs which shake against the cold,
     Bare ruined choirs where late the sweet birds sang. . . .
               William Shakespeare, from Sonnet 73 (1609)

     I did but prompt the age to quit their clogs
     By the known rules of ancient liberty,
     When straight a barbarous noise environs me
     Of owls and cuckoos, asses, apes and dogs: . . .
             John Milton. from Sonnet 12 (1673)

                    I
Poetry, I suppose, has its uses—
With verse, our aging poets are allowed
To picture vicious Time afflict abuse—
We see those chill-killed leaves, abandoned boughs,

Nightfall, gray embers—images that force
His love (somehow) to love that raspy breath
Still more, threatened as it is by that coarse
Cold silence, mute music, encroaching death.

Such poems evoke tapestries—woven views.
You don’t just age and die! You lose your leaves.
The branches of your being wave adieus,
Quiv’ring, chilled, as twilight falls to night, grieve,

As the fire that warmed your life cools to ash.
Evocative verse, visual, not brash.

                          II
Yet verses sometimes argue, snarl and snap.
Evocation’s fine, but, to save the world,
Wise ancient myths must, sometimes, be unfurled;
A fierce voice must bark, hoot, and bray right back!

The Blind Bard couldn’t know his stormy rap
Featuring Latona’s vengeance (she turned
Ugly thugs to noisy frogs for churning
Truth to mud) would, for us, be dim claptrap.

But what’s to do when ones new wife bugs out?
Divorce, of course; except the law denied
That route. He wrote to exorcise his plight—
That’s when the din drowned out his gut-wrenched shout!

Evoke? Argue? How heal his soul’s gangrene?
This kneads the heart; that vents the shattered spleen!
                                     (5/5/08)

Shakespeare’s evocation of infirm old age speaks for itself; Milton’s rant, responding to Presbyterian Puritans’ furious attacks on his arguments for liberalized divorce law, projects the humiliation and rage created when his wife deserted him a few weeks after their marriage.

Posted in Poetry (What is it?)

A Philosophical Inquiry into the Nature of Ethics

Ethics, whipped into children by the wise
(Who, early on, decried the golden calf,
Then invented Hell, to incentivise
A brisk and stern recoil from moral gaffes),

Is trivialized by profit and loss!
Dance around an icon? Then you must die,
Murdered by Moses, put to holy sword—
Jericho’s babes (and goats) never learn why

They must be killed because they’re Canaanites.
And all the while the wise priests show the way—
“Do as we say, shun Hell, earn Heaven’s heights”
(As if virtue were mere investment play!).

Morals nourished by pictured gain, not heart?
That’s plain whoring—converts us all to tarts;
Ethics wrung from fear of punishment, hope
Of Heaven? Plain greed—void of moral scope.
Morality that issues from escrow
Is not a gracious gift—just quid pro quo.
                                       (4/27/08)

Posted in Greed, Religion

Hygiene

How did hygiene and holiness entwine?
Old Hindu temples cringe at menses still—
And Jewesses, each month must find the time
To mikvahtise themselves, rinse off the swill.

One wonders at those strange baptismal rites
In testaments (both old and new). I think
They may reflect pinched ancient nostrils’ spite—
Have less to do with sin than deadly stink.

Before t-p (a recent industry)
Parisian panties flaunted les points d’or
And strong perfume (an ancient industry)
Subdued the musty body’s tangy spoor.

Though modern advertising makes it clear
That earthy smells won’t do, still heroes snatch
At pheromones, at hygiene less austere—
How else explain the General’s dispatch:

Napoleon to Josephine—“three days
And I’ll be there—for god’s sake, do not bathe!”
                                         (4/22/08)

Posted in Lust, Religion