How did hygiene and holiness entwine?
Old Hindu temples cringe at menses still—
And Jewesses, each month must find the time
To mikvahtise themselves, rinse off the swill.
One wonders at those strange baptismal rites
In testaments (both old and new). I think
They may reflect pinched ancient nostrils’ spite—
Have less to do with sin than deadly stink.
Before t-p (a recent industry)
Parisian panties flaunted les points d’or
And strong perfume (an ancient industry)
Subdued the musty body’s tangy spoor.
Though modern advertising makes it clear
That earthy smells won’t do, still heroes snatch
At pheromones, at hygiene less austere—
How else explain the General’s dispatch:
Napoleon to Josephine—“three days
And I’ll be there—for god’s sake, do not bathe!”
(4/22/08)