We figured it out—clothes were important,
Whether fig leaves, togas or furry pelts,
To keep from freezing blue, thumped by the brunt
Of winter ice or summer’s red-burn welts.
Then evolution sets in, our comfort
Morphs to chic, and bright fashion looms—in charge!
I understand a well-filled shirt’s report,
Remain transfixed by deep décolletage,
But can’t explain why fashion ran amuck.
Jackets make sense, but why those notched lapels?
Shirts serve, but what’s the point of collars, cuffs?
Why three-inch heels on sexy demoiselles?
But, most of all, I wonder what cockeyed
Putz thought up the most outrageous, useless,
Idiotic, obligated, juiceless,
Weird and stupid fashion quirk: men’s neckties?
(9/14/13)