Listen to Marvin read An Open Letter To The One True God…
Look, I don’t mean to be disrespectful,
But you gotta do something,
And soon!
For starters,
Let us know your proper name!
Is it Brahma, Odin, Allah, Marduk,
Amun-Ra, Amaterasu, Moloch, Yahweh,
Zeus, Jupiter, Be’al?
Jeezus,
The list goes on and on!
Help us out here—you’re almighty, right?
Just let us know your name
And address.
Let us know where to send
Our ever-expanding
List of serious concerns.
The smart guys insist
(Though I have my doubts)
You started the whole insanity
Almost 14 billion years ago
With one furious, hot, malicious
Big Bang.
(A weird way to go about creation.)
Perhaps we, unluckily,
Inhabit an early cooled-down rehearsal,
Because, to tell the truth,
Sub-ducting tectonic plates
Is a terrible floor design;
And cyclones, tsunamis,
Ambient heat ranging
From minus 40 to plus 120
Do not reflect well
On your architectural skills.
You dealt the hand
We’ve got to play,
But jeezus!
Why’d you stack the deck?
What role in your haphazard
Grand design
Do virus and bacilli play?
How many insects are enough?
And surely,
We upright simians
With opposable thumbs—
Driven by lust, greed,
And the special rage
Toward infidels you order us to kill—
Surely, almighty,
We are not really
Constructed in your own holy image,
Are we?
Hey miracle-worker!
Fix it damnit!
Some trimming with an awl, an ax,
A plane,
A bit of sandpaper
(Fine, not coarse)—
Here and there,
A gentle shaping tweak.
How hard could that be
For an almighty,
One true god?
(9/30/11)