Twenty-four hundred years ago a Greek
Playwright named Aristophanes produced
A comedy in which one smart woman
Ended the Peloponnesian Wars.
How did she manage that? Simple, really.
She convened a meeting of the women
From the warring states, had them all agree
There would be no sex until their foolish
Mates stopped fighting. Remarkably, that worked
Despite pleas from stiff burdened messengers.
A corollary proposal might end
Our vicious modern wars effectively.
Let us adopt a universal law
Requiring ev’ry male from sixteen
To sixty—ev’ry male in this grim world—
To get laid ev’ry day of his cold life.
(To be fair, a few medical waivers
Might be granted, if clearly justified.)
The result, pleasant and benevolent,
Leaves no testosterone to fuel those wars.
(10/16/13)