Some things you absolutely cannot do
Without—like food. Other amenities
Are nice: a snug bed, a toilet, a roof,
A decent set of wheels. Calamities
Succumb to funds (a nice levee against
The sea of troubles that can, sometimes, drown
Us all). Thus, when you have enough defense,
And surplus too, you’ll never need to frown
Again. Money’s funny fecundity
Kicks in—that surplus grows and grows and grows—
Forces us to confront profundities—
To worry about spending all that dough!
Of course, we give the kids what law allows,
But that hardly dents the trove. We might trade
Our staid old Lexus for a hot high-brow
Ferrari. Why bother? The car runs great.
Upgrade? We already shop at Gelson’s,
Whole Foods, but prefer Trader Joe’s—somehow
Bargains make the food taste better—welcome
Reward, independent of our cash cow.
Well, charity then. The mail brings fifteen
Requests a week: large-eyed animals, tear
Stained African kids; the air, the Earth seem
Doomed unless we give. Right now! This year!
We’d do it, you know, except that we’re con-
vinced charities’ execs take the cash—bowls
Of thin gruel for unfortunates. We’re stunned
By the meretricious and banal howls
From eleemosynary vultures’ beaks!
Politics then? But even if we find
A decent candidate, our money leaks
Into obfuscating sound bites designed
Not to clarify, but mislead! What then?
Perhaps we’ll give it all to homeless bums
For drugs and alcohol. The more we spend
The sooner they’d OD and then succumb.
And thus we clear the streets. Our recompense?
Such charity replaces pain with joy—
Such gifts reveal, untainted by foul ploys,
The force of money wickedly well-spent.
(2/12/07)