For T.M.S., M.D., F.A.C.S.
When I am king of the universe
There’ll be no such thing
As “minor” surgery,
And no one will call that gas
“General” anesthetic—
Those wimpy adjectives
Will morph
To “grave” and “deadly.”
When I am king,
Surgeons will confess:
Simple hernia repair
Generates
Not only pain,
But constipation,
And (far, far worse)
Swollen balls—those useless
Desiccated testicles,
Now balloons—
Painful, pompous, iridescent
(Mostly ribald red)
Balloons.
When I am king,
There’s gonna be trouble!
Marvin Klotz, B.S., M.A., Ph.D., E.A. (6/8/08)