It’s a free country, I suppose.
And If you want to call yourself
A New York Style Deli,
You can’t be sued.
But still,
There oughta be a law!
These parvenus
Will never be confused
With The Stage on Seventh,
Or Katz downtown.
Their ill-shaped sandwiches,
(With mayonnaise for chrissake!)
Their lame boiled pastrami—
Worst of all, those limp,
Vinegary, goyishe pickles out of jars!
When, as everybody knows,
The best reason to even bother
To make the trip,
Is to crunch those fine,
Crisp, kosher dills
Half-cured in brine!
(10/8/07)